A Fun Way to Psychoanalyze Yourself

by Rachel Miller

October 7, 2022

ABOVE : Toa Heftiba

Do you ever notice in hindsight that you said or did something and wonder, why did I say that? Or have you ever noticed a pattern in what you say or do around certain people? Here’s a way to use these situations to learn what really matters to you right now, and if that’s something you really want to care about!


  • Notice those small things you do and say around others. Use this as your mirror. Watch what you say and do around certain people. Do you notice any patterns?

  • If you can, try to catch yourself before you speak. Ask yourself:
    • What is my purpose in saying this?
    • What feeling or response do I hope I will receive?
    • What do I hope others will think or feel after I say this?

  • Pause and reflect after you have spoken. Reflect back and consider what response you were hoping to receive:
    • Perhaps, you are hoping in some way to gain someone’s respect or attention. Consider why.
    • Perhaps you want someone to have a certain idea or opinion of you. Get curious as to why you want these things.
    • Then, consider if this is really something that you want to be valuing or caring about. If it’s not something that is deeply important to you–if you don’t want to be caring what this person thinks of you–then take steps to change it. The first step is awareness. Once your start paying attention to those signs, you can choose a different response based on what you want to value and care about, so you feel fulfilled and aligned with what is most important to you.

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