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My name is Rachel Miller.
I write from Halifax, Nova Scotia, and I live here with my wife and dog. I am a mental health nurse by profession and have a BSc. in Foods and Nutrition. I’ve been working as a licensed nurse in mental health for the past 7 years.
Until a few years ago, I lived in deep shame and guilt. I tried to hide and ignore the effects of my past, including childhood sexual abuse, trauma from religion, sexual orientation, and grief. I experienced many years of disordered eating and addiction as a result.
I grew up in a very strict, religious household and attended one of the most conservative Christian universities in the United States. After graduation, my father passed away, and I found myself running away from my grief and religion and moving to the US to study nursing and work.
I moved back to Nova Scotia in 2015. Everything that I’d been running from–the past, the trauma–seemed to catch up to me there. I found myself in one of my lowest places, struggling deeply with addiction and depression. I felt like my greatest saboteur and that there was nothing I could do to change it.
I don’t remember why, but one day, I decided to pick up a book. I came across a simple passage that had a striking impact on me. It read, “live each day until bedtime.” Something about this made so much sense to me—and inspired me!
I began to create little, daily assignments for myself to get through each day. Just 3 things: walk the dog for 30 minutes, cut 10 brambles, read 1 chapter—things like that. Small, simple actions. In the subtlest of ways, this began a massive transformation in my life. It laid the foundation for a new relationship with myself, one where I was no longer my greatest enemy but my most trusted ally, strength and support. I could finally depend on myself and follow through on what I told myself to do.
Fast forward to now, and I have gained a grounding sense of control in my life—and immense freedom!
I am happy to say that I have overcome my mind. And it didn’t involve militant discipline and force, but a gentle repetition of actions.
First, learning to observe, understand, and identify my thoughts and behaviours, then choosing what I ideally want, and creating that outcome through small, simple actions until it becomes natural.
Through the many missteps and setbacks along the way, I’ve learned that the only way to create lasting, genuine change is to trick yourself into changing. It sounds crazy, but it works. You can trick yourself into changing even before you feel like it–and I want to share how.
I want to share those same things that helped me so you can:
Most people are content to accept their present norm for what it is—to accept their habits and natural ways of thinking and being. And that’s OK! For them.
But if you are not easily satisfied, if you are unwilling to accept the effects of your past, your natural inclinations and thinking, and if you are ever-hungry to discover what more is possible for yourself–then welcome! You’ve found your community.
My question for you is this:
I post 1-2 minute reads every Tuesday and Friday that offer an idea, strategy, or perspective to achieve a desired outcome. I am in the process of developing specific, targeted tools related to mindset for achieving and maintaining goals around diet/eating habits. Sign up for the email list to receive updates and special offers, including the opportunity to participate in the development of these tools.
If you’d like to know more about me or what I’m working on, please feel free to contact me through email at thecollectivemind.ca@gmail.com. I’d love to connect and talk more. Thank you for reading!
– Rachel
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