Become Who You Want

by Rachel Miller

October 8, 2021

ABOVE :Matt Howard

Instead of chasing the next thing–what’s interesting and immediately engaging–choose your desires before you want them. Choose what you know you will want in the future, what you know is good for you, even if you don’t want it yet—like vegetables.

Here’s the thing about choice: it’s easier than we make out to be in our minds. The hardest part is deliberating. Once you identify and choose that thing you want to desire, you naturally begin to like that thing. The more you choose your chosen desire, the more you genuinely grow to like it. This affinity builds and builds until the next thing you know, it’s effortless—you’ve changed, fundamentally, and you don’t understand how.

Try an experiment:

  • Identify what you want to want.

  • Consider: who do you want to be? What do you wish you enjoyed? What is standing in your way of attaining your goal? What change would make it easier to attain your goal? What current behaviour or habit is holding you back?

  • Choose your ideal desire, even if you don’t want it yet. Choose before you feel like it. Use the power of association to your advantage: the more time you spend on something, the more you naturally begin to like it. Spend time reading, thinking, engaging with this thing you don’t like. Soon it will feel second nature. Soon it will feel like your new normal. Remember, slow, progressive load of small changes yield lasting results.

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