Poetry

A collection of personal poems on craving, substance use, and desire. You can read more published poems at The Mindful Word.

The Draw of Comfort

 

I feel the draw and sense it
This draw towards comfort

Soothing,

Numbing
of the mind and body
Wishing to experience reprieve
to just sit here, at ease
No demands before me

Just to sit mindlessly
And consume
Some sensory arrangement
Food or entertainment
To appease this desire
For comfort

All the while I know
I won’t give in
But still, I am
Fantasizing for it
And I’ll continue
Until I allow my self-permitted indulgence
To satisfy and realize
It was really not that worth it

It’s not what I imagined it to be
It’s not what I hyped it up to be
It’s not at all what makes me happy
After all

 

So I return to the work
The daily efforts made
The things I never feel like
But give me the satisfaction I crave
Happiness, peace, and ultimate joy:
It’s these things I never feel like doing
That satisfy me fully

 

And I’m reminded once again
That it’s not sedentary, sensory indulgence you crave
But work, challenge, and creativity
Though everything in me
may feel like it wants to be
alone, quiet and lazy,

 

What’s really true
Is it’s not what I feel like, but what I ultimately desire most
It’s not the attainment of desire, but what I voluntarily choose that makes me happy
And it all depends on overcoming
This pull,
This urge towards comfort

 

 

 

 

 

Chasing Desire

 

Aren’t you tired of chasing after satisfaction?
Constantly striving to obtain things to make you happy?
Aren’t you bored of it all?
Aren’t you exhausted?
Does it ever stop?
This constant wanting?

Consider it another way:
If you could go through life without wanting anything,
Content with what you have
Never needing or desiring,
Would you?
If want could be taken away
And you knew you’d stay happy just the same
If you had to forgo the “pleasures” by other peoples standards
And yet, still find pleasure
In the simple things
— the essentialities
The things already in your possession
Would you?

If you had to choose
Between living a life others deemed joyful
And living a life that you experience as joyful
What would you choose?

If you had to forgo the popular view
And adopt a life that looks to others
Unspectacular, nothing special
But deeply satisfying
Would you choose it?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Vice in Moderation: Temptation

 

The high.

What it does to my mind.

The allure.
The euphoric draw.
The thought that consuming more

Will increase the feeling, the pleasure felt.

But, it’s more interesting to pause.
To sit here, still
And experience the feelings
To watch
The thoughts
The desires that arise
The desire for more
—It happens every time
Isn’t that interesting?
Every. Single. Time.
One is not enough
Yet, if I pause
I remember,
More is not enough either
More doesn’t increase the pleasure
It doesn’t prolong it neither
It just complicates things

more
When it comes to substances that provide sensory gain
More doesn’t do more
It just gives us more
That we need to control
To tame
To come down from
Until we get to baseline again