Why You’re Not Happy

by Rachel Miller

January 13, 2023


If you aren’t happy, it’s never because of something you don’t have, but something you aren’t doing.


  • Give what YOU value most.
    • Some days that might be your time;
    • Other days that might be something small you own or like.

  • Use what you value as your indicator of what to give:
    • When you notice any hesitancy towards giving something, use that as your cue to DEFINITELY give it.

  • It’s not about self-sacrifice but giving the RIGHT things–and often, it’s those small moments of time and simple things you want to hold onto that are most fulfilling to give.

  • The only way to be happy is to accept that you are responsible.

  • Take 100% responsibility — for everything.
    • Only look for your role in a situation. No matter how small.
    • Every decision, every choice, every situation in every relationship.
    • Actively look for what part you played: your choice of perspective or interpretation of what happened.

  • Aggressively look for the best:
    • What else is true about this situation?
    • What other possibilities exist?
    • Determine to see things differently. State this to yourself: I am determined to see (how this person responded to me) differently.

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