When Feelings are Strong

by Rachel Miller

May 27, 2022

ABOVE : Michael Starkie

It’s amazing how some days you can get so lost in what you feel that you forget that these feelings mean nothing. They are powerless. It doesn’t matter how strongly you feel something; it doesn’t mean anything about you or what you will do. It can’t control you. All that matters is what you do.


  • When you feel stressed, low energy, exhausted–or when all you want to do is mindlessly consume some food or entertainment to distract and comfort you–don’t fear the feeling. Don’t let feeling this way bother you or trouble you. It can feel like you have no control. It can feel like the feelings are in control—they’re not. It doesn’t matter what you feel. It only matters what you do.

    • You can feel exhausted, and all you want to do is close your eyes and sleep: chip away at the task before you, one tiny notch at a time. Just focus on one small step, then another. Keep going. Baby steps.
    • You can feel worn out and powerless to control your impulses. It can feel like you have no control–and it does feel like this sometimes. Remind yourself that it’s just a sensation–a need for some stimulation or relaxation. What? Decide what you really need, then do one small thing to get you there. What do you really want and need? Comfort? To relax? To rest your mind? To stop moving so quickly from one thing to the next? To take time for yourself?

  • Focus on what you can do. In the moment of pure intensity of feeling, remember, the feeling doesn’t matter. What you do matters. No matter how tired, how wanting, how craving, how anything that you feel, your action is all you need to focus on.

  • Take it one hour at a time. When the intensity is strong, just focus on getting through this hour. Then the next, then the next, until bedtime. Days like this, that’s often all you can do. Just get through this one hour, one decision, one action at a time. You will make it through. Never forget: it doesn’t matter what you feel; it only matters what you do.

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