When You “Give In” to Desire

by Rachel Miller

January 18, 2022

ABOVE :Phillip Goldsberry

Sometimes you give in to what you immediately want over what you ultimately want. When this happens, it’s easy to feel guilty or angry and frustrated with yourself.


  • How often have you felt this way before? Guilt is boring and predictable. You know how it turns out–that same old cycle of blame, guilt, and feeling down. Try something different instead. Get curious!

  • Wait until your emotions settle, then ask yourself:
    • What do I feel right now? Was that choice worth it?
    • Is this how I want to feel? If not, then what does this tell me? What do I actually want?
    • Reflect on how interesting it is that you got what you thought you wanted, yet now regret it. What does that tell you about what you really want?

  • Look at your strong feelings as good. You feel this way because you care.
    • Why is this important to you? Why do you want to do better? For what purpose?
    • Use this present circumstance to strengthen your “why.”
    • Use this to fuel you and reinvigorate your drive to keep progressing forward.

  • Focus on your actions now.
    • Whatever happened 5 minutes ago, is powerless against your present focus. What you focus on now predicts and creates your future.
    • Forget how you feel and focus on what you are doing right now that’s going well:
      • Early recognition of moving off track.
      • Noticing actions that set you back from your goal.
    • Guilt only exists when we dwell on the past. Focus on what you can do now to move in your desired direction, and better feelings will follow.

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Comments (2)

  1. Anonymous says:

    Great post! I especially liked “Sometimes you give in to what you immediately want over what you ultimately want.”

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