How to Love Others

by Rachel Miller

July 20, 2021

You cannot love another, not really, if you don’t love yourself. “But I do” — do you? Have you been prioritizing your needs—your true needs—what works for you to keep you calm, what fuels you, what feels like leisure (and is more than leisure), what provides rest and replenishment of energy? You have not, and that’s why you haven’t loved yourself, not really. 

When you can give endlessly, when you can show patience and understanding and empathy towards another—that is a sign that you love yourself. When you carve out and protect time for yourself, to provide what you’ve been lacking, neglecting—that is how you love yourself. 

Create the time you need to be present for yourself in an uninhibited way. Time, not attached to any task or productivity, but just for you. It will feel wrong—“there’s so much I need to do”—and it will feel like a waste of time, but it is essential as food, water, the necessities.

When you arrive to a task or situation from a place of need, you seek for it to fulfill you somehow. When you arrive from a place of fulfillment, you give more—you give more than you even knew you had in you—and in doing so, you not only perform, achieve, and provide more than you ever expected, but you reap the results in return:

  • Happy relationship
  • Meaningful connection
  • Relax and ease in tough situations
  • Calmness, clarity of thought
  • Improved focus and work flow
  • Improved confidence

All of this from taking time for yourself. And you must prioritize it, not just today, but every day. This is your backbone—the fuel, the magic—this is the essential task entrusted to you alone: to care for yourself, to provide quality, prioritized time to meet your needs, what you need most. Everything flows from you, and when you arrive from a place of abundance, everyone around you gains in return.


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